I’m a dreamer. Or at least I used to be. I used to dream of owning my own business, maybe a coffee shop. Maybe a consignment shop, or I thought of starting my own public relations agency. Then I became a dad.
I’ve dreamed of changing the world though a start up nonprofit. I also started writing songs and envisioned an album deal with fame and fortune. Yes, I dream of a little bit of everything. I’ve always dreamt of fatherhood.l but once I actually obtained it, I wanted more.
Becoming a father was a life change that I wasn’t prepared for, because I still envisioned getting all of these big dreams done while being a father. The reality was that something had to give.
I know the most important thing on my list of life accomplishments is being a good father, but there are times where I am so critical about myself–whether that’s my job or affairs at home or how I am handing a situation with my kids–that I feel I need to obtain something more in order to be considered a good father. A better job, a cabin or a popular new business.
I feel like a big piece of being a good father is being a good provider, and I want to provide everything and anything to my family they desire. But the hard but blessed truth is that everything comes from God.
So I have to step back and ask Father what He wants me to be to be a good father. And when I listen, really listen without my objective perspective, I hear that it doesn’t matter what my job is or if my yard needs work and my car is 13 years old. What matters is my actions.
My actions as a father communicate more to my children than what my adult brain cares about. My son doesn’t care what kind of car I drive. He doesn’t care if I’m working a minimum wage job. And I feel that God doesn’t care either. What He cares about is how I am treating my family and those around me because that is how I can show His work in me.
As long as I stay connected with God. This is the only way I can be a decent father. John 17:26 says, “I have made you known to them, and I will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”
I know I could work hard and obtain riches from this world but if I am not instilling love in my children, and in my family, then what good are all the riches of the world when my kids or wife do not want to be around me?